Tadpole Of The Bailey

I was going to postpone any more blogging about, er, a certain person, at least until I had done my Nativity blog.

But after another tweeter came up with this magnificent description of You Know Who, a sense of mischief crept up on me.

So (without naming full names – perish the thort!), I will now post a list of soubriquets of certain souls on Twitter, and leave it to you to figure out just who they might possibly be. All in a spirit of seasonal goodwill, I stress.

Disclaimer: I am the originator of only seven of them. Items in inverted commas are taken from the tweeter’s own description.

No.1

“relentlessly abhorrent”

Fairy Princess

Mrs Jellyby

Poundland (after she tried to crowd-fund an action against social media harassment, but only managed to raise £880 – bless!)

Phillidrugs (after she admitted getting drunk and taking drugs in the past: it’s all right so long as you don’t do it in court, she says. Obvs.)

Cap’n Bore

Madame X

The Bristol buffoon

C*ntimore

Sillymore

No. 2 (best mates with No. 1)

“A proud Scallywag throwing/ A Janner in Brittan’s works”

Lord Haw Haw

Germany Calling

Dame Alan Loony

The Beast of Miele

Dim A

The Pantomime Dame

Mr Badwin

Dame Asshat

Dame Anal

Dame Arsewipe

Fat Al

Tadpole of the Bailey

No. 3

“Hadassah”

Esther bunny

Fester

Bin Goblin

Bin

Faker

No. 4

“This account is temporarily restricted”

Sunny Wailer

Spambot/ Spammybot

Dull and Sunny

No. 5

“Useful idiot”

Crafty

Sceptic Peg

Fat Loo

Nos. 6-7

“team data”

Gwaham

Wilma

Worwee

The Prague photographer

No.8

“professional trouble-maker”

Sonic Poultry

No. 9

Grot

Coercive C*ntrol

No. 10

“The real ‘Nick’ is my friend….”

Shiny Blue

Saint Sue

No. 11

Uncle Bulgaria

All further suggestions gratefully received.

 

Corrected and re-issued after I discovered that I had misunderstood who “Tadpole” was. But…..it still makes me laugh. Every day. Thanks to the person whose humour gave birth to such a brilliant catchphrase. More power to your elbow!